It took me a minute to finally get a chance to study trying to balance everything and everybody.
When I started, God started talking immediately
I was only released to get into the Preface. I haven’t even been able to get through to even see the rest of the book)
This is gonna be heavy
Take a few minutes (only to yourself)
“This about what was the most damaging/traumatic thing that’s happened in your life?”
What was the thing that caused a shift in who you are today? Or who you wanted to be today? What hurt you so bad that it made you give up on who you are at one point in time?
That’s where God is gonna hit with this
This isn’t about looking at the people on the screen or looking at the people next to you
God wants you to look specifically at you
As a matter of fact, look in a mirror or the camera in your phone at yourself
Once you get a good look at yourself, say this out loud to yourself:
“My soul is damaged, but its time to be whole”
Necessary to say it out loud, so you can hear it in your spirit and in the depths of your soul
“God wants to heal you everywhere you hurt”
We know the song by Earnest Pugh
But we sing the song and we think about the surface stuff
“My knee hurts”
“My bank account hurts”
“My kids/spouse/family member/boss is getting on my nerves”
While those things are important, those aren’t the “everywhere”
The “everywhere” is also those deep rooted issues that you carry with you everyday
The “everywhere” is the extra emotional weight that’s being carried that’s being masked by physical weight
The “everywhere” is the areas of you that you may not even realize they’re there
God took me back to my blog that I used to write
Writing about feeling like I was in a prison cell
No walls, but a small window with a little piece of sunlight
Sunlight was visible, but too far away for me to feel
That’s what the bruising/damaged part of your soul is fighting
It sees the possibilities, but it can’t feel the rays of that freedom just yet
(Ive been instructed to start writing and blogging again. That was something that I gave up a long time ago. But it was so freeing to me)
Definition of rejection -
1 - the act or process of rejecting
2 - the state of being rejected
3 - something that is rejected
Definition of reject -
1 - to refuse to have, take, recognize, etc.
2 - to refuse to grant
3 - to refuse to accept
4 - to discard as useless or unsatisfactory
5 - to cast out or eject; vomit
6 - to cast out or off
7 - (medical) to have an immunological reaction against
We’ve all experienced one of these feelings at one time or another
Church is good about it
“Rejection is God’s redirection”
“One closed door means that one wasn’t for you. There’s another one coming”
“Just wait and watch God fix it”
Those things make it easier to deal with, (sometimes), but they don’t deal with the feelings that come with the rejection
Rejection can be damaging to the mind, the will, the emotions, the appetite, the heart, the personality and the belief system of humans.
Untended to rejection can cause permanent damage to the soul
Monica has bruised lungs because of Covid - It’ll take at least a year to heal
Something that she contracted that caused harm to her caused her to have damage to an internal part of her. That damage alters her life until her healing takes place.
We say that we are 3 parts and we know that in our heads, but we often forget that the soul and the spirit are 2 separate things
We want our soul to act like our spirit and just “bounce back” and “keep moving”
We try to “put God on it” like its a salve and just leave it alone
Healing and deliverance doesn’t always come that way
Sometimes deliverance comes in with a therapist
If God can call and ordain a doctor for your physical health, why cant He assign and call one for your mental and emotional health
A therapist is qualified to dig through the layers of things that have been added over time to get the to very root of you
We cant get there on our own
Often too afraid of digging that deep and getting that far in
We get too far and realize that we aren’t as “together” as we think we are
I was a psychology major at Spelman.
Always interested in the mind and what causes a person to do what they do
At the time it was serial killers. “What clicked and made them go”
Concentration was in mental health
I felt like I couldn’t pursue it because it would have been contradictory to what I believe. I’m seeing now that it would have been the greatest asset to me
*did you know* the mind can’t distinguish the difference between intense physical pain and intense emotional pain?
The brain processes emotional pain like a physical hit
*second sidebar note*
Sometimes an introverted personality isn’t a personality trait, sometimes its caused by a wound/rejection
Wilt thou be made whole?
We know the verse, we know the question
John 5:6 (1-9)
Bethesda means - House of pity or mercy
Everything the man needed was there the entire time
Jesus saw how long he was sitting there. He watched for who knows how long.
He asked the man if he wanted to be made whole, if he wanted to be healed
Why are you still here? He’s asking
Instead of the man taking the initiative by answering the question, he gave an excuse
“I have no man to put me in”
That’s like someone offering to take you out to eat and instead of saying yes or no, you say “but I don’t have any money”
Both answers sound the same
Who asked you that part? Do you want to go was the question
God is asking you the same question
Wilt thou be made whole?
“Do you want to get well?” Is what the Message Bible translates to
Do you really want to be whole?
Are you ready to put in the work?
God says that this book/time isn’t for the faint of heart
Trying to just listen and say “amen” isn’t gonna cut it
You have to put in the work to be well and to be whole
While studying, I heard the voices of the people say “ But God Im too old”
“I’ve been this way too long” “I don’t think I can go that far and that deep”
God is saying, “you’re never too old to be healed”
Aunt Queenie
Do you really want to be that way???
That man sat at that water for 38 years
How old was he when he got there?
Was he already grown?
(Most likely)
Take a 20 year old man and add 38 years to that - potentially almost 60 years old he was when he was healed
He had to make a decision though
God said that Before you get into this book, you have to make a decision. You have to decide within yourself if you’re going to put in the work for this
Are you ready?
Straight up:
It’s gonna hurt
It’s not gonna be easy
You may even cry
Its gonna suck before it gets better
But I promise you, it’s worth it
