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Sunday, February 19, 2017

Bible study notes from February 16, 2017

Bible study lesson - Temporary Insanity 2/16/17

Glimpses of someone running through dark halls. Yelling for freedom, but unsure of where to go.  Feeling around don walls and reaching for doorknobs that aren't there.

"Right here" you hear a voice say. You look around like the voice is talking to you, but you realize the voice is talking to the one running through the halls. They stop and their head moves from side to side, trying to hear where the voice is coming from.

"Right here" you hear again. But this time it's more distinct. You're able to distinguish the direction and you look toward the voice and see an open door in the distance. A bright light at the end of the dark hall. So you try to reach for the person that is now in a full out panic. But you can't seem to get to them.

You start to yell for them to find the door. You're completely dumbfounded as to how something so simple is so oblivious.

You watch this horror unfold before your eyes as you see the person that was so frantic, sitting against the wall full of tears. Sitting so close, but apparently so far.

All the while, the voice keeps saying, "Right here" "right here". The light seems to get brighter as you get more frustrated at what you're seeing. The hurt, the frustration, and the try again. Each time, seeming to travel right on the edge of the light. Hunting through the darkness; completely oblivious to the freedom that is right before them.

How in the world are they missing this? How can something so obvious be so hard to find? It frustrates you to watch such a debacle happen before your eyes. You try to figure out a way to help them, but it seems like there is a boundary line between you and them. You watch them to the point that it becomes pure anguish to see. Constantly pacing, panicking, missing the very thing that is right before their eyes.

You clearly see the way. You hear the voice, but for some reason, there's missing it. They hear the voice, and they turn to where it sounds like it's coming from. Where it just might be, but they can't find it.

"How do they get out?" you finally ask the Lord. His reply is simple...

"They just have to open their eyes"

Isaiah 29:13-21 (KJV, AMP)

*It's easy to take this piece and equate it to pain and struggle.
 -Pain is familiar
 -hurt is the easy thing

*Bur the wanderer that's frantic in this piece is your anointing and your call
 -Your spirit man
 -your gifting, your calling

*Spent so much time looking at the wrong and the past, that we miss where we are now.

*God has delivered out of the past things and kindled the fire fo our giftings, but we're right of the edge of that light trying to figure out why wer haven't moved to the next phase.

*With all the Word and prophesy that's coming forth, we're running in the moment and telling God that we availing ourselves to Him.
 -But when we get home, our minds have already travelled to the next thing on our agenda (work, school, children, Sunday dinner, etc.)
 -By Wednesday, we don't even remember what was spoken on Sunday.

*We don't want to study or pay
 -So focused on being "new", that we're misssing what the "new" consists of

(End of verse 13)
 (Reverence for me is a tradition...)
 -Church
 -Praying
 -Preaching
 -Teaching
 -Evangelizing
    All on tradition, and we don't even understand the history behind the tradition that we're carrying on with

*We're trying to feel our way through instead of taking the time to see

*Frustrated with the ebbs and flows of ministry and our own anointing
 -This should be easy
 -This is what we do/what we've always done

*Different dispensation of time
 -God is requiring more
 -Requiring a true heart sacrifice
 -"Will you be the sacrifice"

*Focusing on the eyar of 2017 being one of prosperity and excess for the body of Christ
 -missing the objedience of the body too

*We can't depend on what we knew things to be
 -Diffence between the Old and New Testament with this move
 -The end result is the same, but the process is way different

Verse 14-16 (AMP)

*No longer business as usual
 -We've become the founders/elders
 -We've become hte ones that lay the foundation

*Remove the cocoon
 -Step out and spread wings

*It's time to identify who we are in Him
 -Full sacrifice
 -"Ive call you and qualified you for what I've called you to"

*Confused freedom with a place where we don't have to work
 -Myself in cluded
 -Relay Race - we're all 4 legs of our race

*I've overcome! I've made it! I survived!
 -Now what?

*Lord I wanna be great!
 -Sit on our hands with our mouth sealed shut
 -The anointing requires work

*Example of spirit man behind wall
  (Saw a figure standing behind a wall with it's arms out. The image was glowing bright. But there were dark gashes that weren't radiating any light. The Word was floating out of air like bandages and covering the gashes. Gashes and dark spots were complete healed)
 -Dark gashes healed with the Word
 -But still behind the wall

*Removing bricks
 -Takes force
 -Takes Determination
 -Can't tear down with hands
 -Requires machinery to ensure the strength required to do the job.

*Your heart is the wrecking ball to that wall
 -The uniting of the heart with the mouth breaks the barrier

*Hand sitting inbetween hands as you're trying to clap
 -Clapping is sign of praise and adulation
 -Hand between hands prevents a proper praise

*Will you let your heart break the wall

Temporary Insanity

Glimpses of someone running through dark halls. Yelling for freedom, but unsure of where to go.  Feeling around don walls and reaching for doorknobs that aren't there.

"Right here" you hear a voice say. You look around like the voice is talking to you, but you realize the voice is talking to the one running through the halls. They stop and their head moves from side to side, trying to hear where the voice is coming from.

"Right here" you hear again. But this time it's more distinct. You're able to distinguish the direction and you look toward the voice and see an open door in the distance. A bright light at the end of the dark hall. So you try to reach for the person that is now in a full out panic. But you can't seem to get to them.

You start to yell for them to find the door. You're completely dumbfounded as to how something so simple is so oblivious.

You watch this horror unfold before your eyes as you see the person that was so frantic, sitting against the wall full of tears. Sitting so close, but apparently so far.

All the while, the voice keeps saying, "Right here" "right here". The light seems to get brighter as you get more frustrated at what you're seeing. The hurt, the frustration, and the try again. Each time, seeming to travel right on the edge of the light. Hunting through the darkness; completely oblivious to the freedom that is right before them.

How in the world are they missing this? How can something so obvious be so hard to find? It frustrates you to watch such a debacle happen before your eyes. You try to figure out a way to help them, but it seems like there is a boundary line between you and them. You watch them to the point that it becomes pure anguish to see. Constantly pacing, panicking, missing the very thing that is right before their eyes.

You clearly see the way. You hear the voice, but for some reason, there's missing it. They hear the voice, and they turn to where it sounds like it's coming from. Where it just might be, but they can't find it.

"How do they get out?" you finally ask the Lord. His reply is simple...

"They just have to open their eyes"

Monday, January 9, 2017

Hurricane Thoughts (October 2016)

Fears of shame and inadequacy, plaguing the storm of the loud mind and the quiet face.  The end of the storm waits quietly in the ocean of her insides, twisting and turning and raining at will. Waiting on a moment to destroy anything in its path.  But she holds it together, keeping the storm together within the levees of her heart and mind.  All it takes is one thing to poke or hole or pull a sandbag and the floods will come spilling out. The weight won’t be so heavy but it makes for certain destruction. No matter how soft or hard the water comes, it’s treacherous.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Morning

Ever thinking, ever watching, trying to maintain peace and not offend.  For years, I worked to stay out of the way and stay behind the scenes. "Maybe if I stay quiet, I can stay in the shadows". LIke a solider that comes home from war and battles PTSD. Locking myself inside my 'safe' place. Not realizing that the walls that I thought were protecting me were the very things suffocating me.  Closing in, getting smaller, claustrophobic dreams and visions while standing out in the open.


Now that the walls have been pushed back...now my watch and think are of the things of tomorrow. The inward desires that are expressed outwardly as jokes are coming back. The true passions and desires of my heart and being released to me, and He's not just letting me know that they are being done, He's opening the veil and allowing me to watch. I feel like I'm standing in the holies waiting to walk into my next phase, but I'm being allowed a glimpse of the greatness to come.  Like a child waiting for Christmas, I'm supposed to be asleep, but I can't help but peek behind my bedroom door to see the splendor that awaits me.  But I get caught, and instead of being chastised for not being asleep, He pretends I'm not there, just long enough for me to watch.  I still have to wait until the morning to open everything, but the excitement of being able to see everything all wrapped up and every single one has my name on it keeps me from being able to sleep.


My sleepless nights are no longer because of fear, but of anticipation.  My heart beat increases out of excitement, and no longer fear.  I keep hearing "It's time! It's time!". I can see the sun starting to shine outside my bedroom window. Morning is on the way.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Random Thoughts

There are 2 sides to me. The outside that everyone sees, and the inner part of me that's still trying to decide who and what she's ready to be.  My soul is bruised to the core...the wounds have healed, but the remnants of the scars are trying to ache. All by holding onto the things inside.  I've resorted to licking my own wounds.

(My God!)

Where Is Your Dirt (Bible Study Lesson)

I knew about this day for quite a while now, but it seemed like I couldn't figure out what I was going to teach about. So one evening, I was sitting at my boyfriend’s at the time and asked the boys what I should teach about. I walked over to the counter and saw a plaque that he earned. Now I've read this plaque I don't knowhow many times, but this time it read completely different. And on the plaque, the award is for being the "Man/Person In The Arena".



So, my question to you today is "Where's Your Dirt?"

So when you think of something that's dirty, you think of something messed up and smelly. (Furniture, clothes, dishes, kids that smell out like "outside")

Not only are those things true, but things that are dirty are also things that are shown to be valuable, useful, a sign of potential success. 

(example) A clean jersey in a championship game

Yeah, your team may have won and you got the ring, but did you earn it? Did you put forth the effort to get in the game?

What if I told you that we were created for the dirt. For its in the dirt that life begins and miracles happen

Adam and Eve - Came from dirt 
Blind man  - Spit in the dirt
Woman at the well - wrote in the dirt

People that garden are on their hands and knees in the dirt and in the mud, to create the beauty of their garden. They have to get their hands and their clothes dirty to bring forth the life that they're working to create. 

1 Corinthians 3:6-8
6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.
Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.

While the planting may be the lesser of the job, how can God water if there’s nothing to plant?

We want to be these dynamic people of God that draws the multitudes, but we only want to “rub shoulders with our kind”. We treat Christianity like it’s this exclusive club of socialites, and then we wonder why the church won’t grow. 

We're a people that admire and pick fun at (guilty a charged) the people that peach on the corners or go to the bars to convert people, but then we wonder how some of the people that were converted out of those bars became that way. 

Not saying that being out on the corner and in the bar and in prison is for everybody, I believe that there are people that have been given that calling. But it’s the Holy Boldness that they have that we all need to develop.  

We’re in a society where the church is constantly scrutinized and made out to be weak (movies, tv shows) and hyper critical (radial “christians”) to the point where people are turning away from the church in droves.  I know what the Word says about the last days and how people will be lovers of their own selves 

2 Timothy 3:1-7
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

but instead of going out to combat the issue, we sit in our 4 walls and critique and talk about what a shame it is at the affairs of the world. 

Instead of being a catalyst for change, we’ve become mere spectators. Bystander apathy is the Psychological term. When multiple people see what’s going on, but assume that someone else is going to make the 911 call, or don’t call because they don’t want to “get in the middle”. But isn’t that our charge?

Matthew 10: 5-8
These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not:
But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

The sick, dead, and lost are the dirty. And in order to reach them, we have to get down to where they are. We can’t be so concerned about our own reputation, that we forgo our purpose.  We want the “washed whiter than snow” to be now instead of how the Word promises it to be, which is in heaven.

 (Overcome by the Blood of the lamb and by the Word of our testimony)

What do you think your testimony is?

You can't overcome if you can't endure/go through 

(And when thou are converted, strengthen your brethren)

Our drawing power is our experience. The things we hide from, the things we try to ignore don't exist, the things that changed who we are. 

But we want to lock it away into the trap doors and smoke mirrors of our heart, so we can clean up like the church elders with our pristine white suits. 

Masterpiece (Bible Study Lesson)

I’m discovering the many different ways and things that the Lord uses to speak to you. But one thing is for certain is that when He does, it’s undeniable.  

I had like 3 weeks to prepare for this and the whole time I’m like “ok Lord, feel free to drop somethin on me at any moment” “I’m right here, ears open”, thinking maybe if I drop the bible and see where it opens I’ll get somethin.  LOL. I’m listening to other people’s messages intently, looking for the lightening to strike in the sky or the sun beam of epiphany on what to teach on came, but of course it didn’t work that way. 

It wasn’t until this past Sunday that it hit me. And it was while I was out driving. Apostle Rankin preached a great Word and talked about a “Spiritual DUI (Spiritually Dying Under The Influence), and while I was able to relate to a lot of the issues and things that he talked about, at the same time I felt like “well, Lord, I thank You for delivering me and helping me to not have issues in those areas anymore”. I’ve grown and moved past some of those things and now I’m stronger because of it.  I felt good about myself.

And I’m sure the Lord was like “awwww, my daughter is to precious and delusional. (like we look at our children try to do something that we know good and doggone well that they aren’t big enough to do yet) Let me show her where she really is”

So while riding back to my boyfriend's (at the time) house (I’m finding that he seems to be a common denominator in the last few of my lessons lol), I was having a little moment and realizing that I’m still not “all the way there” in some of those things that I thought I was good in. I ate real good and thought I was full, but I’m finding that I still have some “empty pockets left in my spiritual stomach, that can get some more food into”. And while I’m having my little pity party by myself (cause the kids were asleep) trying not to cry, I said to myself “you know, I just want to have a drink and go to sleep.” Knowing that the alcohol settles in and makes you sleep a little heavier. (transparent moment). 

It was then that the Lord spoke (He speaks to me like I do Him. My inquisitive nature and always wondering how and why is exactly how He gut punches me back), and He said to me “Why are you trying to fix your broken pieces with Elmer’s glue? The same fire that it took to mold you is the same fire that it takes to fix/repair you.”

So like i said, I was having my pity party and I was immediately condemned. But in such a loving and “come on now” way. He didn’t ask me the question really harsh, but it sounded like a frustrated parent’s “why are you doing that” kinda way.


Isaiah 64:4-11 KJV/MSG



(KJV) verse 5: “in all thy ways acknowledge Him”

(KVJ)  verse 6: Definition of Iniquity


Message Version


(MSG) verse 5: Sin-infected - puss filled infection (Facebook post about infection in leg) - not just puss but odorous puss. 

(MSG) verse 8: “Still, God”

(MSG) verse 10: Jerusalem, Zion represent the lands of miracles and feasts, but when we don’t move in Him, those areas dry up and look like spiritual deserts




Now going back to the KJV, it used the word “Iniquities” a few times. 

When I used to think of iniquity, I only thought of sin. But I said, alright Lord, if this is what you’re giving me, there has to be more.



But if you really take the time to think about the term “grossly unfair behavior”, isn’t apprehension unfair? Isn’t the “I got it, I’m good, I’ll work it out” thought process unfair? 

So it’s not just in our major “big sin” actions that we are unfair to God. How are we going to allow the Word to manifest itself, if we don’t allow Him to do the work that’s in His word.



“small foxes that ruin the vine” 

It’s easy to stop with the things that we consider big. But it’s those small inward things that we think “oh this won’t hurt anybody. I’ll just deal with this by myself” that make or break our next move in Him.

The Lord is saying: How dare you have the nerve to hold back, when I told you that you were free.  (Ouch to my own self)

We’ve been put in a position to facilitate a catalytic shift, but our lands are dry and barren. We’re allowing our (my) own issues to get into the way of who and what we’re called to be.

Have you ever taken pottery or taken the time to see how a ball of clay turns into a finished product. And i find it ironic that He used the example of a ceramic vase to me.  

(the clay is molded to it’s form and has to be glazed or coated and then put into the fire to be solidified and ready for use.  Without the fire,  the clay is not able to be used because it’s not sturdy enough to hold whatever it needs to hold, even after it’s dried. The form will just crumble when it dries. But when it’s put into the fire, the composition changes and solidifies to a completely new from or matter)

But the vase was shattered with the attempt to be repaired. But you could still see the holes of where the small pieces were still missing.  But inside those holes, were beams of light. (The Lord uses a lot of visual elements of examples with me)

You can re-fire a single piece as much as 10 or more times (if done properly).

The vase is us with the broken pieces and areas of our lives.  We have the opportunity to hold something so amazing and so beautiful, but because of our holes and cracks, our anointing is just seeping out at the sides. When a vase is cracked, we may throw it away, instead of throwing it a way, a potter knows how to correct it and has the tools to repair it properly. The potter knows just how much glaze and just how much fire and heat is needed to fix the item. Or if it needs to be broken down and shaped into something else.  


“The Potter’s House” (Walter and Tramaine Hawkins)
  
The song says “Give Him the fragments of your broken life” (I always thought it said “He’ll heal the fragments of your broken life lol) That thing just had some serious new meaning to me with this lesson. 


Saying all of that to say, while we feel like we are well and capable to working through our own issues and situations, it’s not ours to fix. Loose and let go of the things that you’re holding on to. (closed mouths don’t eat and closed hands/hearts don’t get help)We are sooooo much more than what we’ve been through. But we are holding onto our issues and insecurities (myself too) like it’s who we are. When God is saying “that’s not who you are, it’s merely what you had to go through to get you to this point. Every tear and every thing you’ve experienced/witnessed was simply a brick to add to your foundation. It’s some more roots for your tree.”

Masterpiece

Lyrics to song

In case you have fallen by the wayside of life
Dreams and visions shattered, You're all broken inside.
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in
The potter wants to put you back together again,
Oh, the potter wants to put you back together again.

In case your situation has turned upside down,
And all that you've accomplished, is now on the ground.
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in
The potter wants to put you back together again,
Oh, the potter wants to put you back together again.

You who are broken, stop by the potter's house.
You who need mending, stop by the potter's house
Give Him the fragments of your broken life,
My friend, the potter wants to put you back together again,
Oh, the potter wants to put you back together again

Joy in the potter's house.

Peace in the potter's house.

Love in the potter's house.

There is salvation in the potter's house.

There is healing in the potter's house.

There is deliverance in the potter's house.

You'll find everything you need in the potter's house.

The potter wants to put you back together again,
Oh, the potter wants to put you back together again.